"And this is how you pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds?"

It's a duality.

But first, how about a bloody update.

Did a lot of thinking and bloody got my thoughts in order. That's the update. Also thought of a really nifty concept of a heretical mentor and her extremely loyal apprentice in his late teens. But that's a story for another day.

What is important is...nothing. Just thought an update was desired.

But, if you all give a damn about my stupid life that isn't even worthy of blogged about, I'll tell you.

SHE still won't talk to me, but, supposedly, that's a personality thing. She used to hang around after school for thirty minutes every day until a bus to take her home would pull up at her bus stop. Now, she takes the bus right after school, rushing home so she can spend time with her internet boyfriend who she met on WoW (by the way, same girl from all the previous entries). It's funny. She said she'd be there after school whenever I wanted to talk, and now she's never there anymore. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe she thought that because I didn't come back after our few talks in October that I didn't have anything else to talk about. Well, if that's what she thought, it couldn't be more from the truth. I kept my distance because a week after the October talks, Christian told her I liked her. And she retaliated with, "I know." How she found out, or if she really knew, might remain a mystery forever, especially since she won't talk to me. But, do you want to know what? I stopped caring about having a relationship that was more than friends with her. I just want to be break the current communication with her, and, if I feel safe, maybe I'll make a slow casual approach. However, I doubt I want to risk it after all I did to break that damn communication barrier. You'd think if she had an internet boyfriend, she'd probably get an IM client, considering she said she didn't have one last year. Then again, that might have been a lie. Either way, she probably has one now. If only I knew it, especially if she gave it to me since I don't want to look like a stalker from messaging her when she never gave me her username, but someone else did, or, I found it. Whatever... I just want us to be able to communicate as we used to, and I figured it would be easier if I tried to get her to communicate through an IM client. Once again, what do I know? I'm just a guy who, despite his "talents" with using the English language to get a point across through his writing, will never get laid. Screw it all.

Oh, and my mom is a Nazi. She blames me for stuff she instigates. So what if I bent her finger ALMOST too far, I didn't even break, strain, or pull anything, when she was about to break the headphone wires for my Zune; she bent my thumb back too when trying to get the Zune out of my hand. She told me that if the dishes weren't down being loaded when the timer went off, she'd take my Zune until I was finished. I simply told her firmly, but without raising my voice, to leave my workspace and to stop distracting me. She told me not to yell at her, and then she said for yelling at her, she would take my Zune away regardless, and she proceeded to try to snatch it out of my hand when I resisted and eventually grew tired and tried to bend her finger off the wire she was about to break. It worked, but I had to give it to her anyways. And now I'm grounded. Also, my parents are complaining about last quarters grades, so that might have something to do with it. BUT SERIOUSLY. This is a new quarter, how about they just let it go. ALL MY GRADES THIS QUARTER AREN'T JUST FINE, they're perfect. You want to know the worst part. My mom thinks that grounding me is pushing me to get better grades, when, in reality, I planned to change my attitude on school at the beginning of 4th quarter anyways.

You want to know how I know KARMA isn't real? Because, if it was, a lot better things would be happening to me.

But, you want to know what? NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.

[link]

I really loved this. It instilled me with hope. And, maybe the guy who wrote it was right. Perhaps, one day, this stupid little trend will end and my life will be infinitely better. I really hope that day will come. In the meanwhile, my computer times been restricted, but I'll still dream. I'll still think. I'll STILL WRITE. Also, to my friends on HA2, have patience, all be back to enough.